Greetings Everyone!! I do apologize for the delay of this post. I did not post last week because I have been grappling with this particular idea and struggled to convey it in a way that would clearly express a clear of thought. However I am thankful for recent conversation I had with a dear friend. It has helped me to gain a broader perspective and much clarity enabling me to move ahead with this blog. So here it is!!
How we relate to one another is a telling sign of the unspoken things within our heart. Evidently people often forget over 80% of communication is body language. Much of what you say has nothing to do with actual “WORDS”. What you do and how you behave will always tell someone how you really feel. I have longed learned to see behind the plexiglass smile in search of the deeper things. Through years of observation, having relationships and just living life I have noticed a distinct pattern. At first I thought it was my own perspective for it can be a little jaded at times, but through various conversations with different women from all walks of life, age demographics and cultural lineages it is evident there is cause for concern.
Although women are very caring, nurturing, compassionate individuals there is another side to our gentle nature. This side usually is not the dominant one; the one influencing all our decisions, affecting our judgement or impacts our relationships. Nevertheless it is a side that lurk underneath the surface and comes to light whenever provoked. This side am I referring to is much more primal. The one that is cunning, calculating, decisive and at times even deceptive. The need for this nature does occasionally come in handy for genuine self defense purposes and when protecting someone else. Yet sadly I have found it being used more often for self-serving agendas.
The driving force for this primal nature is FEAR. It comes to light whenever a woman is feeling threatened, insecure. Also if there is a possibly of her loosing something or someone and if she is endangered of not getting what she wants. It will cause her to turn on family members, destroy a friendship, cross anyone and immediately change allegiances if it meets the sole purpose of protecting her personal interests. I have seen it happen far too many times to deny there is merit to this argument. For I too have experienced the wrath of the darker side.
A number of years ago I agreed to help my mother with something. She’d asked me for help before, so it didn’t seem like anything our of the ordinary; only to find out in the end she had been withholding information, lying to my face and using me for her own selfish agenda. Clearly she was building a house of cards and I was the last to know. When everything came crashing down I was astonished and mortified that she was capable of doing such a thing, and to her own daughter! She was blinded by her own need and fear drove her to across a line any loving mother would normally NEVER cross.
Now I know I am not a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or a Therapist, but I have noticed men seem to not have this particular hang-up (at least most of them). We as women are ALL susceptible to giving in to these tendencies specially during moments when we feel threatened, vulnerability, etc. How we relate to each other will forever shed light on our own issues as individuals. If we frequently feel the need to resort to such tactics it is a clear indication of a large issue.
Anyway it’s a theory…..
~I am fearfully and wonderfully made~
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