Beneath The Surface

I know….Where have I been?! There is so much I can that would fully explain my disappearing act, however there is two words which sums it all up: “In Process.” This journey of accepting myself, changing careers and discovering the deeper parts of who I am has been a major endeavor. This type of transformation leaves one quiet, reflective and feeling quite lonely. They say a change of this kind usually occurs in your late teens/early twenties, but the truth is it can happen at any age or at any time. You simply have to be open to it and willing to do the necessary work to complete the process. I have experienced many highs and lows thus far, nevertheless they have all played a role in moving me into a greater sense of purpose and identity. Some call it an awakening or an epiphany, but I’d rather call it seeing what lies “Beneath The Surface.”

The journey of self-discovery is one trip everyone should at once (or twice) in their life time. Life experiences and events have a way of shaping many aspects of who we are. I guess that’s why I ended up in Social Services serving youth and families. The study of human behaviour, the nature of families and how we relate to one another has always interested me. Yet I have come to realize we don’t take the same time to assess and critique ourselves; analyzing our own patterns of behaviour, take inventory of our own thoughts and boldly looking behind things in our lives that are just taking up space. This is where the work really is. Asking yourself the hard questions and being willing to search for the answers.

Some think if you get a new wardrobe or hairstyle, job/position, house or relationship that you have somehow transformed or invented yourself. In some small way you have, but that is not the kind I am referring to. Real transformation happens from the inside out. Looking at yourself – the good, the bad and the ugly – and deciding to make changes. Going beyond the temporal circumstances of life and seeing all that is within you. This is not an easy thing. Truth be told this process has probably been the most challenging time of my life. Enduring the pain, discomfort, uncertainty, loneliness and at times even shame until I arrive at a deeper understanding of who I am and what the next phase in my life will be.

We live in a age where people hide. Hiding who they are, how they REALLY feel about themselves and where they are at in life. They hide behind relationships, position, social status’, money and so much more. I for one got tired of wearing a mask a long time ago and I made a promise to myself. That I would do whatever it takes to ensure my freedom to walk boldly and confidently, with my head held up high, no matter the current circumstances. This resolve has allowed me to cultivate gift I didn’t know I had and firmly ground myself in all that I am 🙂

Being authentic and genuine is offend the road less travelled. You wouldn’t think that, unfortunately it is true. Whatever process you choose to start be committed to seeing through until the end. Don’t cheat yourself; you are worth it!!

And keep in mind you have to dig for gold and it gets purified through heat and fire. Make the hard, but good choices. They may in fact lead you into probably the greatest chapter of your life.

Refining Beauty

~I am fearfully and wonderfully made~

Checkout my other blog: http://littleroseca.wordpress.com/

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