2015 has officially begun!! I know many are used to hearing “New year, New Me” slogans or even participating in the timeless tradition of making New Years “resolutions.” Needless to say these things are popular at the start of a new year. It gives structure and motivation to some who are desiring to make significant changes in their lives and to help them achieve certain goals. All in all not a bad thing. Nevertheless for most it is just another “feel good” activity only to camouflage the fear of making any REAL change. It hides the lack of discipline to see a resolution through into an actual lifestyle change. That being said I personally have decided to shift my energy elsewhere.
In the year of 2015, if we are indeed going to break free from the past; its limitations, hinderances, personal insecurities and experience REAL change, approval from other people is something you are going to have to live without. There is a saying that “If you live for people’s approval you will die by their rejection.” And this is a harsh reality for many. Their identity is solely wrapped up in the acceptance and approval of others. It’s as if they are sentenced to live within the confines of someone else’s thoughts, opinions and/or personal like or dislike of who they are. Many surrender their desire for change in some area of their lives (or even worst their dream) because it may in fact directly conflict with someone else’s personal opinion.
It is a dangerous thing to have your self-worth relying so heavily on such individuals. You render the power to people who are often not: A. Walking in their purpose or pursing a dream of any kind, B. Setting goals where they are challenged or stretched in any way (ie. they continually choose what is comfortable and safe), and C. Wanting anything more out of life (ie. they have decided this is as far as they are going to go). They secretly have given up somewhere along the way and whether knowingly or not they want you to remain in the same boat with them. But this is where I draw the line……
In the year of 2015 I have NO desire (whatsoever) to follow people around in circles just because they have given up on their dream and/or purpose AND are afraid to take the necessary steps to move forward. I am not interested in making plans or “new years resolutions” of which I have no intension of following through with. And if this is your desire let me warm you some within your relationship circle may not like or approve of your proposed changes. In fact some relationships may suffer or dare I say end due to your choice! The key is to not let the short term pain impede your ability to make effective long term decision.
Now don’t get me wrong relationships are a wonderful thing; a great blessing. However it shouldn’t prevent you from pursuing whatever dream/goals that is within your heart. Within every relationship love and acceptance should be given freely; it should be a two way street. It should never be withheld at the cost of one’s dream or purpose. That is just too high of a price to pay……
In 2015 choose to breakout and break free from anything or anyone that will impede your progress!! I can honestly say one man’s opinion is not enough for me to forfeit my dream…..
This is the year to be more than ever before. Don’t let anything stop that from happening. A new years resolution is nothing without the boldness to walk it out…..
So I feel it is quite apparent from my previous posts that I believe:
A woman’s size does not determine her beauty or her value.
That true beauty transcends beyond a person’s physique.
Whatever the size a woman should wear and have access to stylish, flattering, sexy clothing!
I do also fully support a healthy lifestyle; one which incorporates a healthy diet and regular exercise. However regardless of the stage a woman is at in her life she still needs to where clothes, right?! And I am always been intrigued at the fashion choices for the larger than average size woman. As I have mentioned before I have been plus size for the majority of my life, which includes middle childhood, adolescents and young adult/adulthood. Currently I am on the lower end of the plus size spectrum, but still am categorized as plus size nonetheless.
As a young girl I hated clothing clothing. I disliked shopping in general. Going from store to store, trying on item after item, searching through bins and racks, it was hardly my idea of a fun time. I always saw it as a task that had to be done rather than a experience to be enjoyed. You see when I was in elementary school and high school plus size clothing across the board was dreadful (at least on the Canadian side of the boarder). There were only a few places to shop and style seemed like a foreign concept. Anything that could possibly fit me seemed only appropriate for a senior adult or elderly person.
I soon then turned to shopping in the mens department; sad, but true. It was easier to find sizes to fit and I felt less awkward (go figure). As long I found clothing that fit I was happy and relieved. But a lot of time has passed since then and I haven’t fully let go of my “frump” girl complex. Even when I began to loose weight I was continuing to wear larger size clothing. Still working through the shame I felt towards my body I felt extremely uncomfortable to have it exposed in any way. So I remained in hiding. Even with my massive weight-loss in 2006/2007 I have had a hard time adjusting to wearing different clothing and seeing myself in a new light.
Since then I have yo-yoed up and down with my weight like I fluctuate regarding my clothing selection. Granted there are more options for women who are not a size 2 (namely me!), but I have yet to completely crossed over to the other side. I do the girly girl thing for a few weeks or so (if that) and then I’m back to my track pants, t-shirts, hats and head-ties (guy type stuff). If it wasn’t for going to church I don’t think I would ever dress up at all! So here I am. In the process of letting go of the old me while embracing the new me.
As I continue to walk out this journey I encourage you to take it one step at a time knowing that who you are or were does not determine who you will become. In the end you just might surprise yourself!!
How many of you know the television show Drop Dead Diva? I am not one for watching TV, but this show is a rather good watch! In some ways it has helped me along my journey. Some of their episodes taught some very valuable lessons. For those who haven’t watched it it is about a model by the name of “Deb” who dies and goes to heaven. Upon arriving in heaven she struggles to comes to turns with her death and presses the “return” button. She then returns to earth and her soul enters the most recently vacated body a plus size woman by the name of “Jane” who is brilliant lawyer. The show depicts the journey Deb goes through to embrace her new life as Jane. She is no longer blond, petite or popular, but now a full figured brunette with an amazingly high IQ. And let’s not forget to mention her boyfriend in her life as Deb is now her colleague in Jane’s life. There are a lot of life lessons to learned once you overlook the whole “reincarnation” thing (which I personally do not believe in). In preparing to write this post one episode in particular came to mind.
In the ninth episode of season one Jane is on a mission to buy a dress. Deb is slowing adjusting to her new life as Jane and is treating herself to a whole new wardrobe. Deb can finally shop without any restrictions in her new life as Jane. Her first purchase is a black dress. Unfortunately her shopping spree hits a road block when she realizes they do not make high end designer clothing in plus sizes. To her shock and utter embarrassment Jane/Deb gets thrown out of the boutique along with her best friend Stacy. Seeking retribution Jane decides to sue the company for discrimination.
In the episode Jane finds a cause of action and a jury is selected who will be supportive to her claim. Now seeing as I was once a very obese woman and still fall within the plus size category I feel this needs to be said. Not everything clothing line should be altered or adjusted to accommodate to full figured women. On the quest to embrace there bodies and be more self-confident I have seen women wearing clothing that is poor in taste and in my personal opinion rather tacky! Just because they make in your size does not mean you should wear it! With respect to Jane on Drop Dead Diva the dress she desired was a black dress; simple, classic, elegant, timeless. The kind every women should have in her wardrobe. However I am referring to seeking an item in a size 24 (for example) when it was truly originally designed for a size 6. Alternating an article of clothing too such a degree will change the make-up of the original design.
There are some clothing items that would not fall under this category and an alteration of that size or greater would not hinder the quality of the garment in any way. However in my experience this is not usually the case. My hope would rather be to raise the standard and quality of plus size/full figured clothing across the board, so women from that demographic can feel attractive, stylist, sexy and confident! To tailor clothing to their silhouette. At the end of the episode Jane looses her case, but she did gain the attention of the business owner/stock holders. She receives a custom made version of the dress she wanted and the company embarked upon a new project; creating a designer clothing line for plus size women. A clothing line specifically to cater to their needs.
I hope what I have shared has not been interpreted as bashing or demeaning. The truth is no matter what size you are you should wear clothing that compliments your shape. Not everything I see clothing wise do I like and not everything that is available in my size I should wear. I seeking clothing which best suits my shape, personal style and taste. Look for things that best suits you. Why try and be a copy of somebody else?
Greetings everyone!! Sorry for the delay between posts. I have just returned to work after a 2 year break, so let’s just say I am adjusting…. Either way I am looking forward to getting back it; sharing my thoughts, views, but most importantly hearing you!! So let’s get started!!
Currently I am on a very structure workout plan; monitoring my eating and cutting out sweets, which is my weakness (*sigh). I also have two wonderful ladies who workout with me. One is a trainer and the other is a fitness model. They are a great support and it helps to keep me motivated plus it makes the training sessions go much faster (thank God!!). Many of you may not know, but in 2000 I was approaching the 400 pound mark. I was very unhappy, had difficulty moving around plus finding clothes that actually fit me was a challenge (Toronto, Canada). Needless to say I felt completely unattractive. It is now almost 13 years later and I am no nothing pushing 400 pounds, however I still struggle with my weight, and have yet to reach my desired goal weight. Keeping all of this in mind does my weight determine my value or the depth of my beauty??
The topic of weight is a very touchy subject for many people. I for one was and am still a bit sensitive around the issue. The words used to describe someone of a larger size can be down right appalling; as if being a heavy or above average weight makes you not human. My first encounter with this mindset unfortunately came from within my own home growing up. I heard words like “pig” and “cow”; not a real confidence booster!! I was made to feel like I was an embarrassment because of my weight. Like the family’s image was tarnished somehow due to me being a larger size. My beauty was based on my size, therefore being big or “fat” clearly meant I was not beautiful.
This had a huge impact on how I saw the world and the people around me. Not to mention the images I saw on television, in magazines and through woman’s fashion?! They validated the motion being big was not attractive or desirable. However I am happy to say that over time and just experiencing life I see things much differently. Although I am working towards fitness goals and actively choose to live a healthy lifestyle my size or a number on a scale determines my beauty. Beauty is so much more than that! The character and personality make-up determines the real beauty of a person. The external packaging is just an added bonus.
To be pleasing to the eye is good, but to even be satisfying to the soul is better. I challenge you to look at the idea of weight and size from a different perspective because the numbers won’t always add up!!