2015 has officially begun!! I know many are used to hearing “New year, New Me” slogans or even participating in the timeless tradition of making New Years “resolutions.” Needless to say these things are popular at the start of a new year. It gives structure and motivation to some who are desiring to make significant changes in their lives and to help them achieve certain goals. All in all not a bad thing. Nevertheless for most it is just another “feel good” activity only to camouflage the fear of making any REAL change. It hides the lack of discipline to see a resolution through into an actual lifestyle change. That being said I personally have decided to shift my energy elsewhere.
In the year of 2015, if we are indeed going to break free from the past; its limitations, hinderances, personal insecurities and experience REAL change, approval from other people is something you are going to have to live without. There is a saying that “If you live for people’s approval you will die by their rejection.” And this is a harsh reality for many. Their identity is solely wrapped up in the acceptance and approval of others. It’s as if they are sentenced to live within the confines of someone else’s thoughts, opinions and/or personal like or dislike of who they are. Many surrender their desire for change in some area of their lives (or even worst their dream) because it may in fact directly conflict with someone else’s personal opinion.
It is a dangerous thing to have your self-worth relying so heavily on such individuals. You render the power to people who are often not: A. Walking in their purpose or pursing a dream of any kind, B. Setting goals where they are challenged or stretched in any way (ie. they continually choose what is comfortable and safe), and C. Wanting anything more out of life (ie. they have decided this is as far as they are going to go). They secretly have given up somewhere along the way and whether knowingly or not they want you to remain in the same boat with them. But this is where I draw the line……
In the year of 2015 I have NO desire (whatsoever) to follow people around in circles just because they have given up on their dream and/or purpose AND are afraid to take the necessary steps to move forward. I am not interested in making plans or “new years resolutions” of which I have no intension of following through with. And if this is your desire let me warm you some within your relationship circle may not like or approve of your proposed changes. In fact some relationships may suffer or dare I say end due to your choice! The key is to not let the short term pain impede your ability to make effective long term decision.
Now don’t get me wrong relationships are a wonderful thing; a great blessing. However it shouldn’t prevent you from pursuing whatever dream/goals that is within your heart. Within every relationship love and acceptance should be given freely; it should be a two way street. It should never be withheld at the cost of one’s dream or purpose. That is just too high of a price to pay……
In 2015 choose to breakout and break free from anything or anyone that will impede your progress!! I can honestly say one man’s opinion is not enough for me to forfeit my dream…..
This is the year to be more than ever before. Don’t let anything stop that from happening. A new years resolution is nothing without the boldness to walk it out…..
Change is something many of us want, and yet have difficulty accepting. The thought of their current reality changing in anyway makes some very nervous, nevertheless deep with in every heart there is a desire for change. To do more, to be more, to go beyond our current circumstances and reach our highest potential. Needless to say the desire to have change is simply not enough. You must be determined to do what is necessary to bring about the change you desire.
I have always marveled at the number of people who say they are working on a particular goal or earnestly want change in a certain area of their life. To say you are working on something, anything, requires a action plan of some sort. Meaning, you should be doing something ie. taking the necessary steps towards your goal or desired change. I say I marvel because there usually is no evidence that coincides with whatever change they want. It is one thing to have made an attempt towards your goal or have taken some steps forward and experienced a setback. This shows an effort has been made. But you can not say you desire “real” change if you choose to do NOTHING!!
Interestingly enough the desire for change and the willingness to get the job done is often short lived when we hit this little thing called “PROCESS.” All resolve seems to completely go out the window when we see the harsh reality of all the WORK we are required to do. However, we must understand when pursuing anything of worth and value we must be committed for the long hall; until the job is done. The process can not be avoided. In fact the process is a valuable tool which helps us to grow and mature, so that when you achieve success or whatever is you are striving for you are able to manage it with grace, poise and wisdom.
We live in a generation that demands instant gratification. The idea of it being delayed is almost offensive. The truth is success costs something. Whether that is time, money, effort (or all three) you are required to something in order for what you desire to come to pass. Change just doesn’t happen. A goal is not reached by simply wishing. Work is involved. Success comes at a high price. The way I see it the process is like you paying the bill up front.
Do the work because in the end no one else is going to do it for you!!!
I believe everyone is born with a purpose. Gifted with talents and abilities which uniquely fit that purpose. With your life being a gift each moment should be spent taking the necessary steps towards achieving your purpose. To reach your highest potential. Now life has a way of taking you down rabbit trails and throwing you off course; sometimes by circumstances beyond your control, but often times by the choices we make. Therefore we cannot complain if we do not achieve our purpose and reach our full potential. It is essential throughout your life’s journey that you identify and breaking ALL patterns of behaviour which hinder or block you from being all you were destined to be. That being said I have come across some of my own. Some I am sure many of you can relate to.
First let me start off by saying some of these patterns of behaviour can be difficult to clearly identify. Nevertheless after repeating the same cycle a number of times the hope is you will begin to ask yourself very straight forward and candid questions. I found my pattern rather difficult to uncover, but thanks to a conversation with someone who I highly respect I was able to see things in a new light. Cloaking itself in seemingly good/kind things, but yet when unmasked and visible in plain sight it is destructive and has been sabotaging my progress.
Knowing when to offer help or assistance has always been a weakness of mine. Having a career in Social Services will do that to you. The whole purpose for your job is to help people. Whether it’s through accompanying them to a meeting, advocating on their behalf, mediating a family discussion or providing one on one counseling sessions. You are there to serve and meet the current need. The only problem is I tend to get caught up with helping others to the point where I neglect areas of my own life that need my attention. Personal projects never maintain their course; ones which will directly impact my future and the fulfillment of my dreams, ergo allowing me to reach my full potential.
My eagerness to see other individuals succeed at times hinders my own progress. Mind you there is gratification I get when I help someone. It gives me so much joy. And I am not saying I am going to stop being kind or helpful withholding aid when there is a need. I will forever remember what it was like growing with practically no support from my parents. Being on my own at the age of fifteen is not something I would never wish on anyone. However after spending so many years of my life helping and assisting others to overcome their obstacles, breakthrough barriers, achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams it is time for me to give myself the same opportunity.
Now this is where I fight feelings of guilt and frustration. Guilt because I feel as though I am being selfish when I don’t readily offer to help in some way, but frustration when I do. For I allow myself to become utterly consumed with the individual’s or group’s current cause. Loosing myself entirely hence everything concerning my life ends up falling by the way side. However the truth is I can not complain about I what I allow to continue. There is only one person in control of my boundaries that person is me! I am the only who the power to break the cycle.
This has really been a ground breaking revelation for me. It may not be new to you, but it has been a liberating concept which I have now incorporated into my life. I am NOT saying I am “Just Gonna Do Me”; a phrase I hear often to condone selfishness, insensitivity and heartlessness towards the needs of others. I strongly believe generosity, kindness and sacrifice is necessary to truly show compassion and positively impact the lives of others. Nonetheless it is my personal belief to effectively help and serve others you must not be a hinderance or stumbling block to yourself.